Thursday, March 26, 2009

3ww-last week! Crossing

She sighs and crosses her chest
with a father
and a holy

Her fingers speak her burden

to the world she is religious
in her soul

she is not

she has what she has got

no thing more

Still she yearns for that ubiquitous stain
of scarlet letter A
to give her one day of pleasure
that she can hide in her purse
and not confess

just carry it in her heart and know

that humans are natural sinners
and at least it is warm in hell.

3ww-from this week- White Wedding?

Restless reactive layers of snow
causing my white wilty dress to blow
up up and away

earnestly i kiss the moon
close my eyes way to soon
and miss my mark

eager beaver waiting in the wings
trying to hold on to petty things
that I let go long ago

i turn around and bound
back to the place i call home
hide my eyes from things
i will never understand

and dream of the day that i can return.

Monday, March 16, 2009

I'm leaving on a jet plane

Lots going on right now. I'm a tad overwhelmed, I won't lie. I am trying desperately to make our budget work for the wedding and all, but it just seems like we might be short come the 28th. I will totally cry if that happens. Anyway, I got lots done this past weekend. Painting and wedding stuff. I just need things to start to fall into place though. I think we are done purchasing stuff except some bottles of wine and some beer. We need to get our vows written and discuss ceremony tactics with our officiant. He needs to get ordained too. I am just trying to get the ducks in a herd, not even a row, just together. I know in my heart it will all be fine. My art show, the wedding, Alex's fencing tournament, it will all be ok. I just have to give some of my worry to the higher being.

On a lighter note, I am very excited that tomorrow is one of my favorite holidays-St. Patty's Day! I will be in El Paso, not really the biggest Irish gala but I bet we can find something to do.

Well if I don't blog a lot this week you know why. Out of town and trying not to be too stressed.

Have a great week.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

3WW-Cajun Cooking

Spoony sun swamp thing forest
dripping oozy weeedy things
Stinky sunshine peeking through slivers
cajoling the cajun canopy
sit and wither, rise and shine
voodoo man nostrils flare
tempests temper riding high
shaking his stick everywhere
dance that wild dance old bone nose
boy and a severed head
marie loved magic so damn much
that good looking boy just had to go
smoke in the bayou
deep down by the house
reckless recluse runs nearby
someone is cooking something unknown
by the river that gleams at twilight

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Just playing around

The dust blew in the window like air being exhaled from a dying body. It spread contagion with it. Everywhere it went-spores and molecules of death and disease. We tried not to breathe it in. No amount of duct tape or gas mask could protect us. There we sat like stool pigeons on a stoop. Just breathing in the last few measures of the life we had known. You could feel your eyes change color. You could almost put a name on the gorge rising in your throat. The hairs on your arm starting to grow at an alarming rate. The tear down your spine was the worst. The cracking and popping as the body you had known grew into the body you would have forever, whether you wanted it or not.

Monday, March 9, 2009

ta da

My glasses are stretched out.
It's like cyanide to the eyes
I tilt my head the wrong way
they slide left to right
I look down and the go go gone
librarian faced for a second
I contemplate that
as the slide towards the tile
that I spent money on glasses
they don't fit right
and they reflect back
at everything I see

I must be shrinking
that would explain so much
I'm lost in the world so often
my fingers are smaller
my rings are loose

If only my ass would follow suit

The blue blue sky threatens to swallow
when I look up at it
and I hear the mockingbird sing
sweet sweet chirpington
oooooo bad bad leroy brown

I am looking for my nest
my niche
my place to feel large and full

I stare at that sky
that bird
feel my glasses slip more
and suddenly am blind
and deaf
and alone once more

Friday, March 6, 2009

Lots of useless drivel but a poem at the end

I am going to attempt to paint large canvas tonight. Any suggestions as to content? I was thinking maybe of a geisha girl. Not sure. Anyway, I am up to my ears in wedding stuff right now. I have a shower this weekend and have to find canvas on a roll-hard to find in amarillo, and need to finish table runners and my gown. I don't have my kids this weekend and that saddens me-it's been two weeks since I have seen jojo and alex is fighting with her dad again. She wants to do a private lesson at fencing tonight and he is mad that she won't be at his house by the court appointed 6 but rather 9 when she is finished. I am again suffering from our seasonal winds and pollen count. MISERABLE. My new inlaws (mom, two sisters and nephew) will be here tomorrow around 12 and my house looks like that dog from Turner and Hooch got a hold of it. I'm a bit frustrated with my wonderful man and my two teens keep fighting over the shower-I mean really! Alex was not done with fencing until 11 last night and she got beat up pretty good, I came home took one look at the fact that Brandon had not cleaned anything and just went to bed so that I wouldn't say mean things to everyone.

Just need a break.

Anyway-I know this is just drivel but it needed said.

Here's a poem for you who need that instead:

Itchy eyeball
encrusted in sleep filth of the night
red scarred cornea looks upon the world
as a weight
as a thorn
this eye only opens halfway
the other half longs for rest
kids buzz past in their cars
talking on phones
telling the world
look at me
look at me
I'm so super skinny

the eyeball blinks slow
in its meandering muscular twitch
and the image the brain gets
says you are nothing now
and in 10 years nothing more

red red itchy reasons
to hate the beautiful things in the way

close the eyeball
and look away.

Thursday, March 5, 2009


Cool tongue lolling touches
Oh so close to my pregnant brain
No I did not want to tell you these things
Volumes lore meaning and sense
Easy to ignore my empty synapse fire
Ready reasons for rugged regrets
Silly to think I should want more from your lies
Alone I take what I get
Too too true sings the gopher to the big fat moon
I stand alone with my words
Only to wish that I heard you that time
No, instead, I dizzy drink more of my time wine

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I totally forgot to naisaiku yesterday-so I wrote two

Climb into the house
Mother patiently awaits
holding a cold stew
holding a cold stew
mother patiently awaits
climb into the house

I like the color
the vibrant lime of the green
pulsates in my soul
pulsates in my soul
the vibrant lime of the green
I like the color

3WW-for josephine

sky blue eyes
always looking
always searching

one day she will see him for what he is
one day she will see me for what I am

will she like me?

He rules her universe now with his pewter fist
always remolding and retelling
viscous noises of genuine dislike

he serves her plates full of pity me
he tells me I threw her away
you never cared for her
you don't love her

say it enough and it might be true

But I do
I do to him to too
until I do did no more

I will avenge her years with him
I will teach her to fly
to rise above his ramble
to see the nuggets of goodness
to know real love when it touches you

Like a phoenix she will burn and become
One day


Monday, March 2, 2009

Paper Planes

Air under my wings
paper wings flapping
windswept sweeping of my nose
I lean forward too too much
tip to the ground and dive

I close my eyes because I don't want to see
the ground surge up at me

I do not lift back up at the last lovely light
I crash face first into a cold new existence
I breathe that refreshing breathe

I suck it in
I wake up
My eyes pop
I say
I do.